What The Heck Am I Watching 5: Gay Spiderman

Oh, how the mighty have fallen...

What The Heck Am I Watching 4: "I Must Break You"

I'm trying to pick the best line out of this horrendous movie. Some close choices are:

• "Oh, mah new biiiiike!"
• "Well, sure -- you always have fun at a picnic!"
• "The picnic?" "Yeah, the picnic!"

Pick your own, it's a goldmine...

So Sorry!

So Sorry!, originally uploaded by macfixer.

Twitter has the cutest 404 error EVAR!

What the Heck Am I Reading?

Why? I mean, what a waste of... something

7-Eleven may convert some stores to coincide with 'Simpsons Movie'

Super Mario Trombones

Click To Play

"This Sunday (March 19th) Oregon Pro Arte Chamber Orchestra performed at the Mt Angel Performing Arts Center. The Trombone section took the opportunity to perform a Super Mario Theme music arrangement made by one of the members of the trombone section of our sister city's orchestra in Sapporo, Japan. Sorry the camera moves around. I wanted an unobstructed view so I stood but I didn't have anything to keep the camera steady."

This is pretty cool!

TGIFriday's Moving To Smaller Portions

Interesting...

"While the success of Friday’s smaller portions is far from certain, its heavily marketed Right Size campaign is among the boldest efforts yet to address problems in the restaurant industry that many had considered insolvable: How do you sell the idea of giving people less food? More important,how do you make money at it?"

Will Diners Still Swallow This? - New York Times

Bill Maher's New Rule

Wow, 'regular' TV needs a voice like his back on the airwaves:

New Rule: Liberals must stop saying President Bush hasn't asked Americans to sacrifice for the war on terror. On the contrary, he's asked us to sacrifice something enormous. Our civil rights.

Now, when I heard George Bush was reading my emails, I probably had the same reaction you did: George Bush can read?! Yes, he can. And this administration has read your phone records, credit card statements, mail, Internet logs. I can't tell if they're fighting a war on terror or producing the next season of "Cheaters." I mail myself a copy of the Constitution every morning just on the hope they'll open it and see what it says.

So -so when it comes to sacrifice, don't kid yourself. You have given up a lot. You've given up faith in your government's honesty, the goodwill of people overseas, and six-tenths of the Bill of Rights. Here's what you've sacrificed: search and seizure, warrants, self-incrimination, trial by jury, cruel and unusual punishment. Here's what you have left: hand guns, religion, and they can't make you quarter a British soldier. If Prince Harry invades the Inland Empire, he has to bring a tent.

You know, in previous wars on the home front made a very different kind of sacrifice. During World War II, we endured rationing, paid higher taxes, bought war bonds, and in the interest of national unity, people even pretended Bob Hope was funny. Right, like you laughed at him.

Okay, women, donated their silk undergarments so they could be sewn into parachutes. Can you imagine nowadays a Britney Spears or a Lindsay Lohan going without underwear? Bad example.

But, look, George Bush has never been too bright about understanding "fereigners." But he does know Americans. He asked this generation to sacrifice the things he knew we would not miss: our privacy and our morality. He let us keep the money. But he made a cynical bet that we wouldn't much care if we became a "Big Brother" country that has now tortured a lot of random people.

And yet no one asks the tough questions like, "Is torture necessary?" "Who will watch the watchers?" "And when does Jack Bauer go to the bathroom?" I mean, it's been five years. Is he wearing one of those astronaut diapers?

In conclusion, after 9/11, President Bush told us Osama bin Laden could run but he couldn't hide. But, then he ran and hid. So, Bush went to Plan B: pissing on the Constitution and torturing random people.

Conservatives always say the great thing Reagan did was make us feel good about America again. Well, do you feel good about America now? I'll give you my answer, and to get it out of me, you don't even have to hold my head underwater and have a snarling guard dog rip my nuts off. No, I don't feel very good about that.

They say evil happens when good men do nothing. Well, the Democrats prove it also happens when mediocre people do nothing.

My First Movie: How To Destroy A Laptop

I know I promised it before, but here it is, everybody -- the moment you've been waiting for:



Update: This version has a better mix of music.
Update 2: Now in QuickTime for better quality :)

What The Heck Am I Watching 3: The Search For Spock

Apparently, this is a training video for those suited characters at the local Chuck E. Cheese. Now I'm ready to switch careers!

What The Heck Am I Watching 2: Electric Boogaloo

Sanjaya makes some little girl cry. I guess she feels that she finally met somebody who out-pretty's her?

What The Heck Am I Watching?

Apparently Andy Dick got a little touchy and is literally carried off the show by security. Is this for real? WTF???

Icy Sidewalks

Icy Sidewalks, originally uploaded by macfixer.

That was me this morning.

The sidewalks outside of our office were still icy from the weekend snow storm and I landed flat on my back. That sucked, but I thought it would make a great YouTube video had someone filmed it.

Vault Red Blitz

Vault Red Blitz, originally uploaded by macfixer.

I bought a new flavor of Vault at the local pizza shop here in New London (conveniently located next to the Coca-Cola Bottling plant). It's "Berry Injected" (whatever THAT means!) flavor, which tastes a lot like cough syrup, and not a lot like Code Red Mountain Dew, which I do like.

I do NOT recommend it!

iRack

Spot-on parody from the MadTV folks:

Snow Day!

Whoo-hoo! We have a snow day today, and that means Totino's Pizza Rolls and curling up in front of the TV and catching up on "Beakman's World" on my DVR.

March 13th

This is the date I met my wife. We celebrate it just like our anniversary. My old boss, Daren has a similar date, the date he proposed to his wife. That's pretty dedicated!

I Get Dissed On A Regular Basis

Hey, remember that video I was promising a while back? Yeah, been kinda busy with life-type stuff, and I haven't had time to work on it.

Not that I'm Axl Rose and this video is going to be my Chinese Democracy or something...

I'll work on it -- I promise!

From the archives: 2004

Old stuff from the blog. I know I used to write more. A shame that I don't have the time.

Mom and Dad stopped by today. We tried to warn them that it was a bad idea, with Sonia suffering from the stomach bug I'd been dealing with, and a stuffy nose on me, courtesy of Mason. Mom and Dad already have a full weekend, with concerts and a wedding to attend, but they needed to drop off this stuff from their house.

We wanted the house clean, so from around 10 pm to 2:30 am I was, to paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy, doing that "Flight of the Bumblebee" clean. I was tempted to tell them, "Hell, this is the cleanest this house has been since we moved in!"

Of course, staying up late does not excuse you from having to get up early; no matter what Sonia tells you. Mason has to get up, get ready for school, eat breakfast, and hit the bus stop before the bus comes. Yesterday, we had to drive him, and based on the departure time of my parents (5 am? Crazy!), they were bound to show up right as we were trying to get him out the door.

So, we woke up at early and finished up the cleaning, got the boy up, dressed, and fed, vacuumed up the house, and sent the boy running for the bus stop. I was "Super Parent" personified.

That's when I noticed that Mason had left his backpack in the house. I grabbed it and headed out to the bus stop to give it to him.

There was the school bus: looks like I would have to flag it down somehow. I glanced to the sidewalk and it was Mason running home. The quick-thinking bus sent him back for it. Yay, bus driver!

Of course, who was behind the school bus? My parents. The timing was amazing.

They dropped off stuff, and took us for breakfast at AC Peterson's in Elmwood. The place reminded me of a Krishes or a Howard Johnson's. Breakfast was okay (my Dad always said, "You can't screw up an egg."), but Sonia and I thought the Quaker Diner was a much better breakfast. Since Mason was in school, Mom and Dad bought him some strawberry ice cream as a treat.

On the way back to our apartment after breakfast, Dad looked at the Quaker Diner and said he wanted to go there next time they were going to be up (in the spring sometime), and that it looked like a fun place.

There was supposed to be a snow squall last night into the morning. There was no snow when we woke up, no snow at breakfast. In fact, we all thought the weatherman was wrong until we started seeing flakes as we began to put our coats on.

Those few flakes soon got worse; complete with high winds and giant flakes...the missing squall...for about 10 minutes.

Dad was tired from getting up at 4 am -- he wanted to take the ferry home instead of driving I-95 back. I looked up the phone number, address, and got him directions all from my computer. He's always impressed with that sort of thing. Reservations made, they could sleep for the hour+ ferry ride home.

We then drove downtown so that Mom and Dad could look for "an exquisite" alarm clock for their bedroom. With all the jewelers in town, you'd think it'd be easy, but no one had one. They recommended a place in Avon that sold only clocks.

We had told Carmen about my parents being in town yesterday, so she stopped by after work to say hello. My folks, who didn't want to travel to Avon while being so close to their ferry reservation, decided to leave the clock shop for their next trip up in the Spring.

It was nice to visit with Carmen and my folks. The topic was travel, and it was nice to have an adult conversation for a change, instead of dealing with kids all day.

Soon, it was time for them to leave. Off they went, for another thermos of coffee at Dunkin' Donuts and the ferry in New London. Carmen stayed behind, admired the cleanliness of the house, then took us out for Lunch at the Corner Pug. We had the Quahog chowder and a bowl of really garlicky mussels. It was all very good.

Afterwards, Sonia and I mellowed out. Sonia took a nap while I played this game Carmen introduced me to, FowlWords. It's the basic 'unscramble the letters to make words' game, but with chicken. Fun!

Both of us went to bed early, exhausted.

Rainbow Doodle

Rainbow Doodle, originally uploaded by macfixer.

There was some Crayola "Color Explosion" rainbow paper at my local Staples for only $2.50 -- so I snatched some up for Mason. Of course, I took a page and doodled on it.

"Color Explosion" paper is black, and you color on it with a special marker, and the color is revealed. The markers do not work on any other paper. Great clean fun.

O.J. Simpson: 'I Could Be Dannielynn's Dad'

Of course! Why not -- hasn't just about every has-been already thrown their, umm, hats into the ring? Now I've seen it all:

O.J. Simpson: 'I Could Be Dannielynn's Dad'

Nice.

1. What's lousy: having to use Lotus Notes at work.
2. What's really lousy: when Lotus Notes decides to not work.