5 Year Anniversary!

Today (July 13) marks 5 years I've been married. I'll probably scan some wedding pictures later today and throw 'em up on Flickr to celebrate.

Wow, 5 years. That's like half of Mason's life! Amazing how time can slip away from you like that. Not that I'm complaining or anything. With all the crap we've been through these last few years, which reads like a wedding vow: happiness, tears, sickness (oh, the sickness!), and health. After all that, I can't imagine spending it without my mate, my wife.

I love you, Sweetpea.

Update: I posted some crap entries up on Five Things. Go check it out!

Don't Eat The Hummus!

Well, this sucks: More than 120 people got sick after eating at the "Taste of Chicago" food festival. Seems they all had some Persian food. Dick Cheney would somehow link this to terrorism, I'm sure of it.

We Got A Newsman Down!

Chuck Storm (that can't be his real name, can it?) takes one for the team, live.


http://view.break.com/329276 - Watch more free videos

UPDATE:More Chuck Storm:

Mike Pitching Stones

Mike Pitching Stones, originally uploaded by macfixer.

On our lunch break at Harkness, Mike took the opportunity to add stones to the coastline. What an environmentalist.

Happy Fourth Everybody!

Just wanted to wish everyone in the USA a happy fourth (don't blow any fingers off, now!). Those of you outside the USA, you're all terrorists and you're jealous of our freedoms.




...just kidding!

iMac Mosaic

iMac Mosaic, originally uploaded by macfixer.

A mosaic I took with my Samsung Sync phone

Some Good News...

Well, Sonia's Grandmother is out of the hospital and into a rehab center. Yesterday, she was able to walk to and from the bathroom with assistance, plus stand and brush her teeth without help.

She's not out of the woods yet, but she's getting there.

Doodle

Doodle, originally uploaded by macfixer.

A quick doodle that I made at work, while waiting for a machine to update (thanks, Windows Update!).

Whoooo Is The Cat With The Beeeeeeeak?

Sometimes, life reminds you that all is not fair with the world; that the odds are forever stacked in favor of the House.

1. Yesterday, as my wife's grandparents were to leave for their home in Florida, her grandmother complained that her left arm couldn't move and her tongue "felt heavy". My mother-in-law tried to contact her doctor, and when she couldn't, made the Executive Decision to take her to the hospital. Good thing she did, because they later found out she had had a stroke. I dashed home (cancelling a doctor's appointment in the meanwhile) to be with the family and all. Sonia's abuela is doing OK. She's still able to talk, and is still as ornery as ever. The doctors, meanwhile, are trying to find out how much damage has been done. They did a CT scan yesterday, but it was foggy, so today's agenda is an MRI. Here's hoping she sits still enough for that.
2. Today, I just found out my favorite show on TV, Cartoon Network's "Harvey Birdman" is going off the air come the end of July. Man, I can truly say I absolutely LOVE that show, and seeing it end after only 39 episodes really hurts.

Now, obviously, event #1 is worse than #2 -- but, man -- they both are pretty crummy.

 

We Interrupt This Blog...

Sonia's grandmother has been hospitalized with a stroke.

5 x 3

3 new entries over at my other blog, Five Things. Check them out!

Raining Crab

While walking between buildings here at work, I heard a rustling in the tree above me. A large, dark mass fell with a 'thud' in front of me. Apparently, the local birds like seafood.

Wow, This Guy Is Totally Fired

In a "blink and you missed it" moment, this guy just said, "skin flute" on the air. Live.

Gotta love newscasters...

5 x 2

I posted 2 updates on my other blog, 5 Things. Check 'em out!

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day, originally uploaded by macfixer.

This is me and my Dad. I hope you all were able to celebrate with your loved ones this weekend. I love you, Dad!

WWDC "Leopard" Wallpaper

WWDC "Leopard" Wallpaper, originally uploaded by macfixer.

Everyone's new favorite desktop wallpaper!

N00b can't drive!

Normally, I'd write something about how this guy can't walk and chew gum (or in this case, drive and wave) at the same time... but the voiceover guy has it all down pat:

Flea and Hack

Flea and Hack, originally uploaded by macfixer.

Flea (on right) and her brother Hack (on left) when they were just kittens. We got them from a co-worker when they were abandoned by their mother. They needed antibiotics, and we eventually needed to give Hack up, because his cough wasn't going away.

Flea eventually got better, although she lost most of the vision in one eye. She's a great cat, though -- and she looks at me like I'm Mom, which is kinda sweet.

Back To The Metal

Wow, I don't remember Marty McFly rocking this hard before...

Aaron Dozing

Aaron Dozing, originally uploaded by macfixer.

My "uncle-in-law" caught napping

Mason Swings

Mason Swings, originally uploaded by macfixer.

Mason enjoyed just barely kicking me in the head while trying to capture this scene. Thanks, kid.

Me at the Dentist

Is it safe Kyle?, originally uploaded by wyntir.

Well, looks like Mrs. Macfixer decided to put some pictures up on Flickr also. Take a look around.

"Theo! Rudy! Puddin'!"

Funny story, here. My wife and I saw this on VH-1's "Acceptable TV" (a TV show where viewers vote to keep 2 of 5 mini shows).

This particular show is called "Kosbees" (a parody of "Gremlins"), and it makes absolutely NO sense whatsoever. At the time, we were both all, "meh." -- but found ourselves repeating phrases and laughing for days afterwards. Real stealthy and sneaky, Acceptable TV people... enjoy!

Microsoft 1978 (before and after)

Microsoft 1978 (before and after), originally uploaded by macfixer.

Stuck my coworker (rather poorly, IMHO) into a Microsoft photo from 78. Apparently noone at work noticed. Yeah, I'm that good.

Extra Extra Extra Lucky!

Extra Extra Extra Lucky!, originally uploaded by macfixer.

I found 3 four-leaf clovers today while trudging through the rain. Looks like I'm going to have a good day!

Humorous Cards

Humorous Cards, originally uploaded by macfixer.

Why does the local supermarket require a separate sign just for humorous cards? It's not like they have a sign for juice and another for grape juice. Weird.

"Wiht Eeg"

"Wiht Eeg", originally uploaded by macfixer.

To find a sign with one misspelling is a great find. Finding two in the same sign? Priceless.

Man, McDonald's ain't what it used to be.

At This Rate, I Could Become A Vegetarian... Or Grow Feathers

Being broke is rough. One of the things you learn to give up is meat. Let's check this week's shopping cart:

• Black beans? Check.
• Sliced turkey for lunch? Check.
• Ground turkey for dinner? Check.
• Turkey bacon for breakfast? Check.
• Rice? Check.
• Eggs? Check.

No hamburger, no fish, strictly turkey -- which is going for ~ $1.99/lb in these parts. Much cheaper than $4.99/lb for beef.

Mike Jackson's Punch-Out!

I'm Afraid... (Update)

It was bad. My grandmother has passed into another realm, where she speaks in a different language, and doesn't understand when you're talking to her. She doesn't know who I was, or who my wife was, but she seemed to have this slight idea of who she was. She treated Sonia with love.

I'm Afraid...

Grandma Is Fading Fast, originally uploaded by macfixer.

I'm actually afraid to visit my parents' house this weekend.

For Memorial Day, my sister is having everyone over for a cookout, and my grandmother will be there. She's been living in a nursing home now for a few years, and she's become less like the 'Grandma' I remember as a kid, and more like this... this... this different person -- one who speaks a different language, who doesn't have any recollection of the family, and is just slipping away slowly from this world.

I know she's aged dramatically since she's moved out of her house, but my Dad warned Sonia to expect a 'very, very different' Grandma come this weekend.

I'm afraid.

Transform and Roll Out

The new "Transformers" trailer. This looks SO overdone, SO over-the-top, I just have this feeling that it's not going to do well. Who knows? Maybe I'll eat my words later...

Great Googly Moogly! Rambo Is Back!

Holy love of all that is, umm... holy! This looks like it might be a LOT better than the crap that was Rambo III (warning: this video contains decaptitaions, beheadings, blood, guts, and all that cool stuff that makes movies like 'Rambo' a lot of fun to watch)

A Little Bit About Me

I also posted this over at PDALive.com, where I am a moderator:

1. Name/Username?
-- Kyle / Macfixer

2. Occupation?
-- Technical Tomfoolery

3. Where do you live?
-- Farmington, CT, USA

4. How did you get involved with PDALive?
-- I probably needed some question answered

5. What do you like best about the PDALive community?
-- All the news that's fit to RSS feed

6. How many PDA's do you own?
-- Three: a broken Treo 600, an m515, and my LifeDrive

7. Favorite PDA?
-- My LifeDrive, easily :)

8. What makes it your favorite?
-- That 4 GB hard drive strapped to the back.

9. What is your stance on Palm verses PocketPC devices?
-- Whatever gets the job done. Just don't dis my LifeDrive

10. What other hobbies/passions do you have?
-- There are others?

11. Favorite food?
-- A toss-up between a good NY bagel and a slice from Lombardi's in NYC.

12. Favorite dessert?
-- Ben & Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk

13. Favorite season?
-- Spring or Fall, they're both seasons in transition

14. Are you a "morning" or an "evening" person?
-- for 90% of my life, I was an evening person. Now I have to get up early, and I guess Benjamin Franklin was right.

15. Do you have any pets?
-- Four cats. You want one?

16. Favorite places to go?
-- Anyplace with an open WiFi router

17. Favorite movies?
-- "So I Married An Axe Murderer", "The Hulk", "History Of The World, Part I", "Road Trip", anything by Pixar (and I do mean *anything*)

18. Favorite book?
-- "Piloting Palm" by David Pogue and Andrea Butter

19. Favorite band?
-- Run-DMC

20. Favorite song?
-- "Hollis Crew" by Run-DMC

21. What makes you smile?
-- Being with family

Aluminum Foil: Solved!

"Tinfoil has a shiny side and a dull side. Why is this? My co-worker says you should put the shiny side down when covering something in the oven. This doesn't seem plausible to me. What are the facts?"

Learn the answer here

PWN3D!!!

Sorry, kid -- stay away from the performers:

Groovin'

Have you had a chance to listen to Q-Tip's "Kamaal the Abstract" album? According to Wikipedia, it was never released -- and I got a [cough] legal copy of it to listen to. Man, is it good! He does some rappin', some singin', and it features more live instruments than the usual Tribe Called Quest stuff. Sounds a billion times better than anything else I've heard all year.

What does that say about today's hip-hop if I am more into a bootleg from 2002?

Listen here

Got Joost?

Hit me up and I'll send you an invite!

UPDATE: I should have made this a LOT clearer, stick your request in the comments!

Harkness Wallpaper

Harkness Wallpaper, originally uploaded by macfixer.

I made the panorama into a wallpaper. Click on it and enjoy!

UPDATE: Yeah, I know, the picture needs some tweaking. I'll post an update when the correct picture is up on Flickr.

George Clooney Can Do No Wrong

Courtesy of famousfacesinrandomplaces.com:

In true nice-guy fashion, thirsty Clooney whipped out a twenty spot, purchased some lemonada, and told the little guys to keep the $19.75 change.

Nice to see Mr. Clooney doing the right thing.

Harkness Panorama

Harkness Panorama, originally uploaded by macfixer.

At Harkness Park in Connecticut, I took this panorama (my first!) of the incredible vista from the lawn. A terrific way to spend my lunch break.

Dare I say this looks best at full size? Click on it to get to the flickr original.

Best. Headline. Ever.

I swear you couldn't make this up (well, you might -- but what are the odds?):

Skywalkers in Korea cross Han solo

Market Proves Tough Target For `Ninja' Attack

Green Ninja Day, originally uploaded by macfixer.

Their target, state police say, was the store's office. Once inside, they expected to find enough cash to buy a computer. They were familiar with the terrain, since one of them used to work at the store and his mother still does.

Plan A, in which one of them hid inside a sealed cardboard box that was carried, Trojan Horse-like, inside the store by the other two, failed when the would-be burglar burst from the box before the store was empty.

Plan B, four days later, was less subtle: A masked, ninja-wearing, machete- and-baseball-bat waving frontal assault. That didn't work either.

There won't be a Plan C.

When your robbery plan sounds more like a "Blue Collar Comedy" skit than "The Italian Job", you might want to rethink it ju-u-ust a little.

Virginia Tech Shooting w/ Life Insurance

Virginia Tech Shooting w/ Life Insurance, originally uploaded by macfixer.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed this, but on the same page as the horrific shootings going on at the Virginia Tech campus, CNN ran an advertisement for Life Insurance with copy that reads, "Dad, What would happen to me and mommy... if you died?" (not that kids actually talk like that, mind you)

AccuQuote, it's bad enough to guilt people into buying your product using kids, but the advertising companies need to realize that having "Death" in the story shouldn't automatically throw up a life insurance ad.

Enough shame to go around here, CNN, AccuQuote, and whomever did the sell for that ad!

Wanted: Rhinos

Is this guy for real? I mean, really?!?

My current staff is the laziest group of individuals you'll ever meet. They manage to drag themselves to work every day to complain about the coffee, weather & the manager. When that's done, they struggle to organize themselves, get in their cars & show up at preset, prequalified appts & suffer their way to earn $55K-$70K per year.

I can't wait to sign up!

Top Ten 8-Bit Games

2 x 5

FYI, I posted 2 new lists over at Five Things. Get it? 2 lists -- 5 Things?

Anyway, check them out!

"Man, I totally wanna see some horrific skateboard crashes!"

Your wish is my command:


Skate Bloopers

What The Heck Am I Watching 9: Wow, Hip-Hop *IS* Dead

Hey, mumbled lyrics have been a part of Rock n' Roll for ages. Nothing can prepare you for the lyrical incoherence of Laz D, a rapper with Down Syndrome. Enjoy:

Now THIS is cool!

Finally, George Lucas has added some digital editing to a "Star Wars" movie and it didn't suck -- a reminder to not use cell phones:

Google Recipe Search?!?

Google Recipe Search?!?, originally uploaded by macfixer.

I typed in "Tuna Recipes" into Safari's Google box and got a really weird result -- when did Google start doing this? This is cool!

Google's Engrish

Google's Engrish, originally uploaded by macfixer.

Wow, look at the writing on this dialog box! I usually click the "OK" button every morning at login and move on with my life. However, one morning I actually read the words on it -- I'm not sure if the blame is on Windows XP or on Google, but it's really really bad:

"The server www.google.com at Please log in to your Google Account requires a username and password"

Who proofread that?!?

Brad Sherwood and Colin Mochrie

Brad Sherwood and Colin Mochrie, originally uploaded by macfixer.

In December, Sonia and I purchased tickets to see "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" performers Brad Sherwood and Colin Mochrie in Torrington CT for April. Man, are we glad we did!

The skits were all based on "Whose Line...", and they picked people out of the audience to help, and they used a phone book to get some local Connecticut flavor for their performances.

The best skit? The second-to-last one, where Brad and Colin sang opera while blindfolded, barefoot, and on-stage with 100 mousetraps! Talk about thinking on your feet!

At the end, they sang a "what did we learn?" song using bits and pieces from the skits they did (that's where I took this picture -- photos were allowed). They mentioned they were coming back "next year" -- and we're going to buy tickets again!

The Next Generation Of "Cho"

Just when I think the last story couldn't be topped, here comes another doozy from CNN:

Mother forced toddlers to fight

Sounds like this was trying to be made into the next "Landlord" video (which is hysterical, by the way. see it while you can!) on the interweb. Here are the bullet points:

• Mom forced 2 year-old son, 3 year-old daughter to fight, filmed them on video
• Woman goaded son with gay slurs, laughed as tearful pair punched each other
• Mother and three other women spared jail, given one-year suspended sentences

...and people wonder how these kids grow up into angry, seething teenagers!

I guess "Doo-Doo Brown" wasn't available?

Chinese translation error blamed for slur on sofa label

Doris Moore was shocked when her new couch was delivered to her Toronto home
with a label that used a racial slur to describe the dark brown shade of the
upholstery. The situation was even more alarming for Moore because it was
her 7-year-old daughter who pointed out "nigger brown" on the tag.

The best part of this story comes from this quote:

"It's amazing. I've been here since 1972 and I never knew the meaning of this word," said Vanaik, a native of India.

Call me a grizzled veteran, but I gotta tell ya, that's some naive person!

"Big Hit In Canada"

"Big Hit In Canada", originally uploaded by macfixer.

My friend ripped a copy of Tenacious D's "Pick of Destiny" and unfortunately, the subtitles decided to stop working around the 33% mark. So, for the rest of the movie, apparently, everybody was saying, "Big hit in Canada".

Regardless it was an awesome movie.

The Ultimate Compilation

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Enough Rain!

I'm tired of this rain.

Something New Is In The Pipe

No, not the youtube video.

No, not a new job.

No, not a new post at 5 things (although you are free to visit).

Something new, hip, and totally web 2.0

Stay tuned

update: I did post some updates over at 5 things after all!

My First Movie: Now In QuickTime Format!

I've now re-posted the soon-to-be-an-interweb-classic "How To Destroy A Laptop" in QuickTime format, for better viewing fidelity (thanks, Revver!). Revisit a classic today!

What's that, you say? You don't have QuickTime? Luddite... grab it here

Jon Stewart O-Face

Jon Stewart O-Face, originally uploaded by macfixer.

What Mrs. Stewart sees.

Countdown to Onions

Countdown to Onions, originally uploaded by macfixer.

Saw this countdown clock in the local Big Y supermarket. Mac OS X, sure -- but who the hell camps out at the supermarket for onions?!?

What The Heck Am I Watching 8: "The End Of Days Is Upon Us"

Apparently, this was a video made for kids some time in 1980 or something... makes me snicker just thinking about it. Question is, who ARE some of these people?



Lord, help us.

What The Heck Am I Watching 7: Do Canadians Even Celebrate April Fools Day?

Alanis Morissette turns this Fergie song into a haunting ballad. Really. Think that one over before you watch:

Profiteering To Go

Can anyone explain to me how a couple of new features (like Office 2007 read-only support) warrants DataViz charging us loyal users to upgrade to Documents To Go 10?

If you were to look at DataViz' own support page, you'd see it looks a little light for features:

• Now supports Microsoft Office 2007
• View Microsoft Word 2007 files and attachments - read-only
• View Microsoft Excel 2007 files and attachments - read-only
• Various bug fixes

That's it? Don't get me started on how DataViz is charging for "Various bug fixes" when their previous product, Documents To Go 9 remained unpatched for the entire 6 months it was on the market.

Now, I've been a loyal Documents To Go user since the first Mac incarnation (version 2.002!). The suite has gone through changes that turned it from a basic "view my documents on my Palm" application to a full fledged "who needs a laptop" suite. It seems to me that DataViz must feel the Palm OS market is dying out, and they want to milk us for all we're worth before we jump ship. It's not fair, and upgrading from 9 right now is not a really wise investment at this time.

What The Heck Am I Watching 6: "That Burning Sensation"

Be prepared to witness stupidity in it's rawest, most juvenile form. If words like "asshole" and "sack" offend you, then this video is not for you. Otherwise, please refrain from drinking any liquids, because you will launch said beverage through your nose:

What The Heck Am I Watching 5: Gay Spiderman

Oh, how the mighty have fallen...

What The Heck Am I Watching 4: "I Must Break You"

I'm trying to pick the best line out of this horrendous movie. Some close choices are:

• "Oh, mah new biiiiike!"
• "Well, sure -- you always have fun at a picnic!"
• "The picnic?" "Yeah, the picnic!"

Pick your own, it's a goldmine...

So Sorry!

So Sorry!, originally uploaded by macfixer.

Twitter has the cutest 404 error EVAR!

What the Heck Am I Reading?

Why? I mean, what a waste of... something

7-Eleven may convert some stores to coincide with 'Simpsons Movie'

Super Mario Trombones

Click To Play

"This Sunday (March 19th) Oregon Pro Arte Chamber Orchestra performed at the Mt Angel Performing Arts Center. The Trombone section took the opportunity to perform a Super Mario Theme music arrangement made by one of the members of the trombone section of our sister city's orchestra in Sapporo, Japan. Sorry the camera moves around. I wanted an unobstructed view so I stood but I didn't have anything to keep the camera steady."

This is pretty cool!

TGIFriday's Moving To Smaller Portions

Interesting...

"While the success of Friday’s smaller portions is far from certain, its heavily marketed Right Size campaign is among the boldest efforts yet to address problems in the restaurant industry that many had considered insolvable: How do you sell the idea of giving people less food? More important,how do you make money at it?"

Will Diners Still Swallow This? - New York Times

Bill Maher's New Rule

Wow, 'regular' TV needs a voice like his back on the airwaves:

New Rule: Liberals must stop saying President Bush hasn't asked Americans to sacrifice for the war on terror. On the contrary, he's asked us to sacrifice something enormous. Our civil rights.

Now, when I heard George Bush was reading my emails, I probably had the same reaction you did: George Bush can read?! Yes, he can. And this administration has read your phone records, credit card statements, mail, Internet logs. I can't tell if they're fighting a war on terror or producing the next season of "Cheaters." I mail myself a copy of the Constitution every morning just on the hope they'll open it and see what it says.

So -so when it comes to sacrifice, don't kid yourself. You have given up a lot. You've given up faith in your government's honesty, the goodwill of people overseas, and six-tenths of the Bill of Rights. Here's what you've sacrificed: search and seizure, warrants, self-incrimination, trial by jury, cruel and unusual punishment. Here's what you have left: hand guns, religion, and they can't make you quarter a British soldier. If Prince Harry invades the Inland Empire, he has to bring a tent.

You know, in previous wars on the home front made a very different kind of sacrifice. During World War II, we endured rationing, paid higher taxes, bought war bonds, and in the interest of national unity, people even pretended Bob Hope was funny. Right, like you laughed at him.

Okay, women, donated their silk undergarments so they could be sewn into parachutes. Can you imagine nowadays a Britney Spears or a Lindsay Lohan going without underwear? Bad example.

But, look, George Bush has never been too bright about understanding "fereigners." But he does know Americans. He asked this generation to sacrifice the things he knew we would not miss: our privacy and our morality. He let us keep the money. But he made a cynical bet that we wouldn't much care if we became a "Big Brother" country that has now tortured a lot of random people.

And yet no one asks the tough questions like, "Is torture necessary?" "Who will watch the watchers?" "And when does Jack Bauer go to the bathroom?" I mean, it's been five years. Is he wearing one of those astronaut diapers?

In conclusion, after 9/11, President Bush told us Osama bin Laden could run but he couldn't hide. But, then he ran and hid. So, Bush went to Plan B: pissing on the Constitution and torturing random people.

Conservatives always say the great thing Reagan did was make us feel good about America again. Well, do you feel good about America now? I'll give you my answer, and to get it out of me, you don't even have to hold my head underwater and have a snarling guard dog rip my nuts off. No, I don't feel very good about that.

They say evil happens when good men do nothing. Well, the Democrats prove it also happens when mediocre people do nothing.

My First Movie: How To Destroy A Laptop

I know I promised it before, but here it is, everybody -- the moment you've been waiting for:



Update: This version has a better mix of music.
Update 2: Now in QuickTime for better quality :)

What The Heck Am I Watching 3: The Search For Spock

Apparently, this is a training video for those suited characters at the local Chuck E. Cheese. Now I'm ready to switch careers!

What The Heck Am I Watching 2: Electric Boogaloo

Sanjaya makes some little girl cry. I guess she feels that she finally met somebody who out-pretty's her?

What The Heck Am I Watching?

Apparently Andy Dick got a little touchy and is literally carried off the show by security. Is this for real? WTF???

Icy Sidewalks

Icy Sidewalks, originally uploaded by macfixer.

That was me this morning.

The sidewalks outside of our office were still icy from the weekend snow storm and I landed flat on my back. That sucked, but I thought it would make a great YouTube video had someone filmed it.

Vault Red Blitz

Vault Red Blitz, originally uploaded by macfixer.

I bought a new flavor of Vault at the local pizza shop here in New London (conveniently located next to the Coca-Cola Bottling plant). It's "Berry Injected" (whatever THAT means!) flavor, which tastes a lot like cough syrup, and not a lot like Code Red Mountain Dew, which I do like.

I do NOT recommend it!

iRack

Spot-on parody from the MadTV folks:

Snow Day!

Whoo-hoo! We have a snow day today, and that means Totino's Pizza Rolls and curling up in front of the TV and catching up on "Beakman's World" on my DVR.

March 13th

This is the date I met my wife. We celebrate it just like our anniversary. My old boss, Daren has a similar date, the date he proposed to his wife. That's pretty dedicated!

I Get Dissed On A Regular Basis

Hey, remember that video I was promising a while back? Yeah, been kinda busy with life-type stuff, and I haven't had time to work on it.

Not that I'm Axl Rose and this video is going to be my Chinese Democracy or something...

I'll work on it -- I promise!

From the archives: 2004

Old stuff from the blog. I know I used to write more. A shame that I don't have the time.

Mom and Dad stopped by today. We tried to warn them that it was a bad idea, with Sonia suffering from the stomach bug I'd been dealing with, and a stuffy nose on me, courtesy of Mason. Mom and Dad already have a full weekend, with concerts and a wedding to attend, but they needed to drop off this stuff from their house.

We wanted the house clean, so from around 10 pm to 2:30 am I was, to paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy, doing that "Flight of the Bumblebee" clean. I was tempted to tell them, "Hell, this is the cleanest this house has been since we moved in!"

Of course, staying up late does not excuse you from having to get up early; no matter what Sonia tells you. Mason has to get up, get ready for school, eat breakfast, and hit the bus stop before the bus comes. Yesterday, we had to drive him, and based on the departure time of my parents (5 am? Crazy!), they were bound to show up right as we were trying to get him out the door.

So, we woke up at early and finished up the cleaning, got the boy up, dressed, and fed, vacuumed up the house, and sent the boy running for the bus stop. I was "Super Parent" personified.

That's when I noticed that Mason had left his backpack in the house. I grabbed it and headed out to the bus stop to give it to him.

There was the school bus: looks like I would have to flag it down somehow. I glanced to the sidewalk and it was Mason running home. The quick-thinking bus sent him back for it. Yay, bus driver!

Of course, who was behind the school bus? My parents. The timing was amazing.

They dropped off stuff, and took us for breakfast at AC Peterson's in Elmwood. The place reminded me of a Krishes or a Howard Johnson's. Breakfast was okay (my Dad always said, "You can't screw up an egg."), but Sonia and I thought the Quaker Diner was a much better breakfast. Since Mason was in school, Mom and Dad bought him some strawberry ice cream as a treat.

On the way back to our apartment after breakfast, Dad looked at the Quaker Diner and said he wanted to go there next time they were going to be up (in the spring sometime), and that it looked like a fun place.

There was supposed to be a snow squall last night into the morning. There was no snow when we woke up, no snow at breakfast. In fact, we all thought the weatherman was wrong until we started seeing flakes as we began to put our coats on.

Those few flakes soon got worse; complete with high winds and giant flakes...the missing squall...for about 10 minutes.

Dad was tired from getting up at 4 am -- he wanted to take the ferry home instead of driving I-95 back. I looked up the phone number, address, and got him directions all from my computer. He's always impressed with that sort of thing. Reservations made, they could sleep for the hour+ ferry ride home.

We then drove downtown so that Mom and Dad could look for "an exquisite" alarm clock for their bedroom. With all the jewelers in town, you'd think it'd be easy, but no one had one. They recommended a place in Avon that sold only clocks.

We had told Carmen about my parents being in town yesterday, so she stopped by after work to say hello. My folks, who didn't want to travel to Avon while being so close to their ferry reservation, decided to leave the clock shop for their next trip up in the Spring.

It was nice to visit with Carmen and my folks. The topic was travel, and it was nice to have an adult conversation for a change, instead of dealing with kids all day.

Soon, it was time for them to leave. Off they went, for another thermos of coffee at Dunkin' Donuts and the ferry in New London. Carmen stayed behind, admired the cleanliness of the house, then took us out for Lunch at the Corner Pug. We had the Quahog chowder and a bowl of really garlicky mussels. It was all very good.

Afterwards, Sonia and I mellowed out. Sonia took a nap while I played this game Carmen introduced me to, FowlWords. It's the basic 'unscramble the letters to make words' game, but with chicken. Fun!

Both of us went to bed early, exhausted.

Rainbow Doodle

Rainbow Doodle, originally uploaded by macfixer.

There was some Crayola "Color Explosion" rainbow paper at my local Staples for only $2.50 -- so I snatched some up for Mason. Of course, I took a page and doodled on it.

"Color Explosion" paper is black, and you color on it with a special marker, and the color is revealed. The markers do not work on any other paper. Great clean fun.

O.J. Simpson: 'I Could Be Dannielynn's Dad'

Of course! Why not -- hasn't just about every has-been already thrown their, umm, hats into the ring? Now I've seen it all:

O.J. Simpson: 'I Could Be Dannielynn's Dad'

Nice.

1. What's lousy: having to use Lotus Notes at work.
2. What's really lousy: when Lotus Notes decides to not work.

Ubuntu!

I have the opportunity to play around with Ubuntu (a free Linux distribution) on this old laptop from work. For someone whose only experience with the Terminal was Mac OS X and a few commands in Windows XP, this is mighty cool!

I popped in a wireless PC card and was expecting an evening spent digging up drivers, but to my surprise it recognized it right off the bat!

Excellent job! I'm enjoying this more and more!

Making My First YouTube Video

I've always been a big fan of online videos, especially the viral stuff on break.com or youtube.com. Since I don't own a video camera, I never was able to create one of my own to share with others.

Then, one day, I realized that my digital camera was able to shoot small movies! Plus, I could edit them together in iMovie on my new Mac! Brilliant!

I just needed a subject, then -- inspiration hit: our boss wanted us to take some old laptops and throw them out.

Coming soon to this website: "How To Destroy A Laptop"!

...and I thought my commute home was long!

It almost sounds like the setup for a good joke, "This Mother of 8 boards this bus for home, gets lost for 25 years..." but it's crazy!

Crazy!

Jaeyana Beuraheng told her eight children she accidentally boarded a bus bound for Bangkok instead of Malaysia, and once there she boarded a second incorrect bus because she could not read or speak Thai or English, The Times of London reported Wednesday.

Beuraheng, who speaks only the Yawi dialect used by Muslims in southern Thailand, said the noise and traffic of the big city confused and disoriented her, leading her to board the second wrong bus to Chiang Mai, near the border with Burma.

Okay, so now she's home, right? Her kids are all 25 years older, right? What do you think the chances are that they give a crap who she is?

"Mom, you've been gone 25 years -- don't you tell me about picking up my nasty underwear! At least I know how to get back home!"

Oh, snap!

Read about it here.

Mike On Fire

Mike On Fire, originally uploaded by macfixer.

A doodle I made on the whiteboard at work. It depicts my co-worker successfully solving another 'minor issue' with the calm, cool, collected demeanor of a true professional.

Why is the bad guy from Robocop following him? Got me, but it seemed funny at the time I was drawing it.

Halo

Halo, originally uploaded by macfixer.

My friend, my nemesis, my favorite game on my Mac (thats not emulated).

Bungie did a great job on this one.

An email from Dad

I was supposed to head down to Long Island this weekend to celebrate my sister's birthday today, however Nature being the funny gal she is, gave me a fever and a head cold instead. My dad sent me this email this morning.

Try to take it easy this weekend. Rest up and
get some frozen wings for the superbowl. Rate the commercials. We
might go to your sister's house to watch the game. I might make a cauldron of
chili. Erika and Mom are begging me to make it mild. Jerry and I just
stare at them in disbelief. Mild chili on superbowl Sunday? Isn't
that a sin or something? Didn't Moses bring down a tablet from the
mountain with the "Shall not's" a long time ago, and one of them I
believe said, "Thou shall not weaken the chili on football
weekends"? I read that somewhere. I think I'll make bologna with
mild mustard sandwiches on white bread (Tip-top) with the crusts cut
off, sliced in triangles, a pickle on the side, for the ladies and
Gkids. I'll be damned if I'll commit a sin at my age. You never know.
I want to go to the pearly gates with a clean slate. Excuse me, I
have to go buy the jalapenos.

When I went online to tell him how funny his email was, we had this exchange on iChat:

Me: I just read your email. You have a knack for it.
Dad: Did you laugh in the right places?
Me: I think so.
Dad: Dinner will be at six. Fly in. I'll pick you up in Farmingdale.
Dad: I thought the email hilarious. I've reread it many times. Still laugh.
Me: let me warm up the Learjet.
Dad: Sometimes the funny stuff just happens. I really don't think a lot about it. A Lear? Impressive!
Me: Why don't I have a Learjet? I ought to. I'm putting it on my Christmas list.
Dad: Probably you didn't like the color.
Me: I'll make sure to buzz your house at Mach 2 before touching down at Farmingdale. That way you know when to leave.
Dad: You need something in a mauve.
Me: mauve? too 70s. i want "Joe Namath Fur Coat White"
Dad: Why not just bail out. You won't have to pay the landing fee.
Dad: Most of the trees are down in our property so there's lots of room for the parachute. Be careful of the cable wire. i want to watch the game tomorrow.
Me: do they have ejection seats on Learjets? Probably an option with the "Super Sport" package -- along with Deluxe floor mats and a special anti-rust undercoating.
Me: better yet, I want the single-seat space ship George Jetson took to work every morning. Folds up into a briefcase.
Dad: You won’t be the pilot. You must have forgotten. You don't know how to fly a jet. I never told you.
Me: I played a lot of video games growing up, piece of cake.
Dad: You have a point. Reconsider anyway. It is dangerous when you pilot a jet. What's the worse that can happen when you play a video game? You don't advance to the next level. But you're still alive.
Dad: I say hire a pilot and you just bail out at mach III.
Me: I’d get chapped at that speed.
Dad: Wear your mittens. It’s cold out there.
Me: lot of wind. I’ll wear a scarf, Red Baron style
Dad: I have to go. Go on line. See if you can find a Learjet manual.
Me: Mom tells me there's no snow there. Better put out an old mattress so I have a target
Me: I want my Learjet with "3 on the tree", baby
Dad: Will do. What size coffin do you want?
Me: just put me in the chili pot, one less thing to wash, and I’ll go out smelling like jalapeños
Me: I'm sure mom is going to love this exchange
Me: you still show her our conversations?
Dad: You bet. She looks at me strangely afterwards. She's way too serious. It’s her German genes.

How To Shower Like A Woman / How to Shower Like A Man

As my wife is fond of saying, "It's funny cause it's true"

Adult Swim Apologizes

After the city of Boston went all bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S) over Adult Swim's Aqua Teen Hunger Force marketing blitz, they issued this apology:



It's pretty sad, considering:

1. They were up for 3 weeks before the bomb scare was called in.
2. It was in 10 (TEN!) cities total. No other city did this sort of thing.
3. Have you looked at this thing? A light up sign giving the middle finger! Total stealth bomb!

Anyway, I digress. Boston sucks. There, I said it :-)